


Last Christmas

by SeafoamSoul



Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-22 19:16:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17065535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeafoamSoul/pseuds/SeafoamSoul
Summary: Last year, you were together with Luke and the rest of the Wyatt family, having one of the best Christmases of your life. This year, you’re alone with nothing but the memories to keep you company.





	Last Christmas

December used to be my favorite month of the year. I’ve always been a sucker for holiday festivities and spending all my time with loved ones. It was, without a doubt, the best time of the year and I wouldn’t have wanted to trade it for the world. Now, though? Now it doesn’t feel special. I could do without it, actually. If I could skip the entire holiday season, I gladly would. It’s just not the same, not anymore.

Last year, I spent the time with Luke and the rest of the Wyatts. But now they’re all gone, none of them even looking back to see me left in the past. I guess I understand why, though. They all have their own paths to follow now, all by themselves. But I thought that Luke would stay with me, would bring me along with him. He didn’t, though, and now I’m stuck watching him go through life without me, without even thinking about me.

Needless to say, as Christmas got closer and closer, I got more and more moody, always on the verge of tears. It seemed like everywhere I turned, there was something that reminded me of Luke and how happy I was this time last year.

=========================

The faux reindeer mount in the hardware store right above the door as I went shopping for superglue hit me the hardest. Spending time at the Compound with the Wyatts meant being surrounded by deer heads all over the place. They started feeling like home, something almost comforting, in a way, even if seeing them only meant that I was that much closer to Luke. I wasn’t looking forward to having an emotional breakdown in the middle of the hardware store, however, clutching two different types of superglue in my hands. An employee stopped by, obviously thinking the breakdown was over the glue and assisted me in picking out the right one. I sniffled the whole way to the registers, my eyes almost always glued to the reindeer head. And on the way home, I cried the whole way, the windows down and the saddest music I could find playing. If I was going to suffer, I was going to go all out.

========================

Finally, a week before Christmas, I began setting up my Christmas tree. I still wasn’t in the Christmas spirit, but I thought that if I was surrounded by Christmas decor, I would feel better about the whole thing.

I managed to forget, though, that over half the ornaments in my box for the tree were all from Luke. He knew how much I loved Christmas, how much having a great tree every year meant to me. So he spent a lot of his time collecting fun ornaments for me. Being able to decorate the tree with him last year, seeing the tree covered in the ornaments he had collected for me? That was one of the best moments of that winter. Sitting by the tree, with a fire in the fireplace, as we drank hot chocolate, just staring at the tree in all its glory? That was the best moment. To think that it wouldn’t be happening this year hurt.

Now, instead of me decorating the tree, I was on the ground in front of it, pulling out ornaments one by one while tears ran down my face. I missed him. More and more everyday. Attempting to decorate the tree only made it worse. I didn’t want to do this alone, didn’t want to have to sit in the soft glow of the Christmas lights by myself. It wasn’t the same, would never be the same.

I shouldn’t be crying on the floor, surrounded by boxes of Christmas decorations. But without Luke, this is all I felt like doing.

=========================

I didn’t even want to get out of bed on Christmas day. All I could think about was last year’s Christmas, waking up in Luke’s arms, walking downstairs to open the presents. Luke slid one last present to me after we opened the rest, a small box wrapped delicately. Inside was a silver necklace, his name in sloping script. I wore it everyday, never taking it off. Until, that is, Luke left.

Now, I turned my head to face my bedside table, the sunlight seeping in through the window catching the silver of the necklace, making it shine. I’d spent so much time crying, I didn’t really want to start up again, though it seemed impossible. Making my way downstairs, I saw the tree, still not completely decorated. Lights strewn halfheartedly across the branches, ornaments still all over the floor. Nothing was the same.

And then I was crying again, standing in the doorway of my living room, comparing how dark and desolate it looked compared to this time last year. I hated that it looked like this, that my life was like this. I hated crying constantly over one person. I hated who I was now. And it wasn’t changing any time soon.

Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. I picked up my phone, dialing a number I hadn’t in months. Luke. I needed to hear his voice, hear him say something. I couldn’t make it through the day without him. I was desperate and sad and I knew I would regret this, but I had to do it, had to call him.

“Hello?” He sounded so calm, so relaxed, as if he was perfectly fine, as if this was just another day. He was a stark contrast to my mess of an existence, and that hurt even more. “Hello?” he repeated.

“I’m - I’m sorry, I don’t-” I began, babbling through the tears.

“Are you okay?”

“N-no,” I answered honestly, shaking my head even though I knew he couldn’t see it. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have bothered you, I just-”

“Are you at home?” Luke asked, sounding more alert the longer I sobbed into the phone with him. I knew it was a bad idea to have called him, especially given the mess I was in. But I didn’t regret it, not completely.

“I’m f-fine,” I stuttered, wiping at my eyes. “I’m fine, I’m sorry, I-”

“I’ll be there in a few minutes,” he said simply, hanging up on me moments after the last word left his mouth.

I stared down at my phone, incredulous. This isn’t what I had planned. I didn’t mean for him to feel like he had to come here, to me. I just wanted to hear his voice, hear him say something. I couldn’t make it through the day without it, or so I thought. But now, knowing he was on his way here? I regretted the phone call even more. He was obviously unaffected by our separation, by the fact we hadn’t been with each other in months. I didn’t want to look this weak in front of him, let him know that I wasn’t getting along as well as he obviously was. And now it was too late, he was on his way.

In the time I had left until he arrived, I washed my face quickly in an attempt to make it look like I hadn’t just been bawling my eyes out, even if Luke already knew. There was a difference in him having heard me crying and seeing me a mess afterwards. At least, that’s what I was telling myself.

Right after I finished drying my face, I heard Luke knock on the door, three times in quick succession; his usual pattern. I hesitated slightly before opening the door, not knowing what to expect.

Of course, what I definitely did not expect was to burst into tears the second I opened the door, my eyes meeting Luke’s for the first time in what felt like forever. He stepped through the door quickly, taking me into his arms as I cried, my head resting on his chest as tears fell down my face.

“Shhh, you’re okay. Come on.” Luke’s voice was soothing as he led me away from the front door, into the living room.

“I’m sorry,” I sniffled, wiping at my eyes. “I didn’t want you to come all the way over here, it’s a waste of your time. And on Christmas, I-”

“You haven’t decorated,” he pointed out simply, eyes scanning the room.

“I um, haven’t really felt like it,” I admitted, avoiding his gaze.

Luke’s hands came up, cradling my face and making our eyes meet. “This is your favorite holiday.”

“Not, um, not this year,” I mumbled, trying to turn my head away from him.

“What’s wrong? You have to explain this to me,” Luke pleaded, his fingers wiping tears off my face.

“It doesn’t feel the same,” I finally admitted, voice small. Now, however, I was looking him in the eyes. I wanted him to understand why it was different without me having to say anything, without him asking me.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, pulling me into his chest again. Once more, I was sobbing in his arms, wishing this year was different, wishing I wasn’t such a mess in front of him. I hated that this was happening, that this was what my life had come to.

Luke let me cry for a while, a growing stain on his shirt from where my face was pressed to him didn’t seem to bother him at all. Finally, he pulled me away from him, his fingers brushing my cheeks once again. “Go get cleaned up, okay? I’ll be right here.” I nodded once, standing from the couch and retreating upstairs, never once looking back.

==========================

When I came back downstairs, fresh from a shower with my face scrubbed clean, I saw Luke standing by the tree, carefully placing ornaments on the branches. He had already made his way through a few of the boxes, sifting through the final box. He hadn’t noticed me yet as I stood in the doorway, watching as he appraised the branches, finding the perfect spot for each ornament.

My heart swelled watching him be so exact about decorating the tree, remembering how last year I had to direct him to the proper way to decorate a tree. He tried to just put ornaments anywhere without giving regard to the overall look of the tree. I was glad he had taken my advice and learned how to decorate properly, but it killed me to know that he hadn’t been able to decorate the tree with me again, not until now. But he was doing it out of pity, not because he wanted to.

“Near the top,” I directed, pointing out a bare spot in the branches.

Luke nodded, hanging the ornament before turning to face me as I walked closer. “You always had an eye for that.”

“It’s a gift,” I shrugged, looking up at the tree. He had decorated it perfectly, the lights and ornaments brightening the room.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he finally asked, glancing at me instead of staring at the tree with me.

“About what?”

“Come on,” he sighed, turning fully to face me. “Talk to me.”

“What do you want me to say, Luke?” I asked, tossing my hands up. “That I couldn’t bear to decorate this year because you wouldn’t be a part of it? That I couldn’t stand even thinking about Christmas at all because it doesn’t feel right without you? Nothing feels right. And I hate that I let you ruin my favorite holiday! I hate it! And you don’t seem to care at all. Do you even care?”

“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.” His voice was softer than usual, eyes wide at my outburst.

“You wouldn’t have to be here like this if you hadn’t left me behind as you and the rest of the family split,” I pointed out. “You split up and all of you forgot about me. I didn’t think you would, though, I thought you would’ve stayed with me. But you didn’t. You didn’t even think about me at all.”

“That’s a lie,” Luke argued. “I thought about you all the time.”

“Well that changes everything, doesn’t it?” I asked, sarcasm evident in my voice. “You thought about me all the time but never enough to talk to me, to come back to me. That means a lot, Luke. Thank you.”

“You don’t understand.”

“Then make me understand!” I begged, breathing heavily. “I want to understand. I need to know.”

It was silent in the room, the glow of the lights on the tree outlining Luke’s body, like a halo around him. He looked perfect in the light, and I hated that I couldn’t stop noticing it. I wanted to be angry at him, but I couldn’t stop myself.

“I wanted you to be proud of me,” he finally said, shaking his head. “I wanted to show you I could be something on my own, that I didn’t need the family. I wanted to prove myself to you, didn’t think you deserved someone like me then.”

“Luke,” I breathed, reaching out to him. He looked broken, sad, and it was killing me.

“You deserved more. I wasn’t going to come back until I could give it to you.”

“You don’t get it, do you? I loved you then and I love you now. You didn’t have to prove yourself to me. I thought you were perfect then, you didn’t need to do anything else. I loved you for you, Luke, not for what you could do.” This time, I was the one holding him, pulling him into me. “I love you.”

Without warning, Luke pressed his lips to mine. The kiss was desperate, his arms wrapping tightly around my waist. “I’m sorry,” he whispered against my lips, finally pulling away. “I’ll make it up to you.”

I smiled, kissing him again deeply, tugging playfully on his hair. “You’re here now, that’s all that matters,” I promised, gazing at the tree over his shoulder. “That’s all that matters.”


End file.
